Ecoqueer perspectives on bodypositivity and mindful sexuality

Hello everyone :smiley: ! I have introduced myself a few weeks ago. Today I am very thankful to have the opportunity to introduce the announced topic of the week: “Ecoqueer perspectives on bodypositivity and mindful sexuality”.
I decided to broach a topic which is linked to my personal as well as my professional interests.

What am I talking about?
I am convinced that there a a few very specific queer perspectives on the connection from ourselves to our bodies and our sexuality that are worth to explore. Some of the questions I ask myself and get asked I want to share with you this week. And I really appreciate every thought, every answer! To make you more curious, these are some of the issues #bodyshaming #bodypositivity #badbodyimage #sexualperformance #selfcare #selfpleasure #mindfulsexuality and a few more of course :wink:

The focus today will be on “body shaming and self-acceptance”.
I think a bad body image, experiences of body shaming, fat shaming and lookism are obviously unhealthy but also part of (mainstream) gay culture. On a personal level it also can put boundaries to enter queer community, because you think you do not fit in. Certain body tipes are often linked to unhealthy lifestyle and a weak character. But no matter how you look, in one way or another maybe all of us have suffered from body shaming, bad body images and low self-esteem beacuase of body issues.
Maybe you want to share some ideas, questions or even experiences.
• How did your body image and self-acceptance change over the years?
• Do you think „queerness“ includes a non-heteronormative perspective on bodies?
• How do you deal with lookism in queer communities?

To give you some inspiration I invite you to read this wonderful comic from italian cartoonist Giopota https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/more-than-inches-by-giopota/
This story resumes some of the aspects of today’s questions

And finally: If you don`t want to share ideas, thoughts or questions here in public - feel free to contact me on queer.alba@gmail.com

Have a fab start in this new week.
Hugs, Jordi aka Jan :raising_hand_man:t4:

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Hey Jan/Jordi
Thanks for hosting this topic! It looks like it will be a super interesting week. I’m looking forward to it - and I love the cartoon.
And I’m still rummaging about those questions.
Thanks for holding the space and conversation
Hugs
Borgen

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Thank you @Jordi for raising these questions that are so important.
It all very much echoes with me, and I remember when I was in my tweens often limiting myself from some experiences because I felt I didn’t have the body or the look to „be part“. It was actually not that I couldn’t have, or didn’t have… rather it was thinking that I might be rejected (because I assumed everyone would be super fit) that I didn’t take part.
I felt enormously sad once I realised that in those situations it was probably me limiting myself, based on ideas in my head.
I know those experiences come from a very privileged position, where I’m talking not about actually being made to feel uncomfortable- but rather about the fear of being made to feel that way. So I’m imagining how it must feel when actually being made to feel bad about your looks.
Thank you for bringing this! I think it’s so important to talk about this.

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I’m looking forward to this week. Thank you @Jordi for bringing this topic. I’m very excited to see mindful sex(uality) on the radar of this forum.

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Dear Jordi,

I love the terms eco queer and mindful sexuality. Both not very used or known in our community unfortunately.
On the first one, it is very common in our talks to feel insecure about our bodies. I think that we, gay, tend to objectify our bodies a lot and I am afraid that this leads to creating a superficial cliché that a gay guy should be this or that way. In my case, my darker skin has also been an issue as discrimination is still happening in Bolivia. This is also connected with what I shared before about turning sex into something based on anxiety and superficiality more than something mindful and beautiful…sex, even if it is one night only, but where you fully enjoy with the other(s). When I enter gay chats here, it is ALL about sex but without any care or any humanity. I try to create other chats in social media, but it is difficult since most of our folks, at least here, do not understand other kind of language. Sex, the simple kind of sex, seems to be the only language. That is why I think we need more and more spaces to heal, to feel and be ourselves but from fresh perspectives. I also wonder how the pressure looks like in ¨developed¨ countries where circumstances are different. It is interesting to share perspectives from different parts of the world :wink:

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Dear @Gadir,
thank you so much for sharing your personal thoughts and experiences. I really apreciate that. I absolutly agree in every single word you said and my personal experiences in gay and even queer communities are absolutly similar. Thanks also for bringing attention to the intersection of racism/discrimination and queerness. Unfortunately this is an important issue here as well… in different shades from exoticize people and depreciate them.
I also see the need of more healing spaces, spaces to learn new ways and language of sexuality from new perspectives and want to contribute to create them and be part of them.
I recently started my instagram account https://www.instagram.com/queer_alba/ from where I want to create a fresh perspective.

Hugs, Jordi aka Jan

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Dear Jordi and all,
I just would like to understand more this thing about exoticing people…I heard some comments here and there …I do not have instagram, but checked what I could in your account and seems nice 1!!!

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Dear Gadir,
thanks for your reply. When I am talking about exotcing people I refer to a specific form of racism and “othering” in (not only) mainstream gay culture. I hesitate to repeat in public space stereotypes against bpioc people, but in fact origin and skin colour is very often fetishised and linked to sexual cliches or specific sexual behavior like being wild, extraordinary potent and uncontrolled…In fact this is not very specific for gay culture, but can be seen everywhere, even if it appears subtle from time to time…
Hugs, Jordi