I just joined after finding out that urbangay is joining the Quinta. I have a question with this: urbangay had a lot on mindful sexuality and related topics. Here I can’t find any of these topics again. I wonder what is the relationship between the two?
Hi Darmian, thanks for sharing this question. I am wondering exactly the same, but I am sure there are a lot relationships between mindful sexuality and queer eco visions. At least when it comes to attitudes towards myself, my sexpartners, my environment and so on… If you have any ideas yet I would love to hear them. Thank you! Hugs!
Hi @Darmian (and @Jordi)
Thank you for the question and ideas surrounding this. I feel tempted to reply with drawing upon oneness, which I think has a role to play in the relationships (as Jordi also says). And I think oneness of all is a very important concept at a meta-level in this context.
I also think there is an individual level answer here. And I feel drawn to emphasise this (which is also something that comes out in the urbangay books, and thus may be familiar to you, Darmian).
The individual-level “shift” that the books suggested, were to move away from a [traditional] dependant model of sexuality (i.e. my partner is responsible for the fulfilment of my sexual needs/desires etc) to a self-sufficient view. In this view, I’m my own master and create my own version of sexuality and ways to satisfy my needs, wishes etc…
My somewhat unspoken view with that has always been that as a consequence, sexuality moves from being something boxed in (in the traditional case between person A and their sexual partner(s)), and becomes something that is individually created but collectively negotiated. As it is the latter, it requires connections and sustainability - and a balance of what is good for the individual and their partner(s). In my view, the desired outcome is then a culture where sexuality becomes demystified, open and freely-negotiated. I love the idea that it becomes more like food (Do you like mushrooms?) - or to use the British sexual consent campaign, tea.
To get to such a state, where sex is like food (or tea), there are many obstacles: shame, fear,… how we relate to ourselves, our bodies, etc… so it actually becomes a complex and challenging journey. To me, this process is an important and integral part of sustainability. I just can’t imagine how a sustainable society could possibly function without full integration and liberation of self-constructed/determined sexuality. And that’s why I love that sexuality has a forum here, should be debated and is an integral part of The Quinta Project.
Lots of love and thank you for the question!
It’s interesting to think that sexual energy isn’t included more in the environmental movement. It seems a bit like the movement is all about connecting, but not connecting to your sexual self? Maybe a bit harsh, but I struggle to think of why there wouldn’t be a connection?
This is a great topic. I’m totally with you here that the sexual self (as a wider form than sex, like “eros” the life energy) should not be excluded from any action/activity, though it often is in life. As one facilitator at a workshop recently said: eros is totally disconnected in the modern world full of sex.